If Gerard could write a letter, so could I.
Beware, it's long.
The day when a piece of me died
I woke up on Sunday with a horrible headache from having slept four hours the night before and a terrible need to listen to music. I opened my laptop and went on iTunes, going through my playlists and randomly picking one, not really in the mood for a certain compilation of songs. The first song was 'When You Were Young' and then 'The Kids From Yesterday' followed, making me think, hey I haven't listened to the whole MCR discography in quite some time.
'Now this could be the last of all the roughs of all the roughs we take, so hold on tight and don't look back'
The day was quite boring, having to do homework and whatnot. It was just an uneventful Sunday, just like so many others. Life is kind of boring, especially when it's March and it's freezing outside.
I decided to take a nap, because I was tired and my eyes were aching, and after that I went on a long walk with my dog in the park, casually listening to music with my earbuds in, picturing myself singing and head banging on the stage of my own gig.
I had no clue that this simple Sunday was going to change within an hour. Returning home, I changed and turned on my laptop before going on Tumblr, reblogging some stuff lazily before going on polyvore. There, I scrolled though some sets and saw the following title 'mcr are over :c'.
It's incredible what rumors do over the Internet, so I decided to google it and read from a trustworthy news site, to see if it really was true.
And guess what? My Chemical Romance are no longer a band. But just as Gerard said, it never was a band - it was an IDEA. Thing is, I survived so much with this idea. My first breakdown, my first cut, my first weeks of depression, the bad days, as well as the good.
I still sing 'Blood' with Julie in the car or in the classroom or wherever, because that's our song and it's what we've always laughed about, because it fu.cking made us happy. My Chemical Romance made me happy, because yeah, life sucks - but they told me it get better, eventually.
I recall the time when 'I'm Not Okay (I Promise)' used to be the soundtrack of my life. I was in a bad place when I discovered this band, and they helped me get by. I could completely relate to their lyrics, to their struggles and doubts, I was less alone. Because they weren't faking it, they never told you "hey, kid, cheer up, things are gonna be a-okay". No, that was something they never did, lying was something they never tried to do. I've watched Gerard's videos in which he openly spoke about his depression and tough times. I knew those feelings were real, because they have experienced them, and it was some sort of comfort for someone like me to know that those guys, whom I admire so much, have survived what I was feelings.
And I still am thankful for that. Walking to school this morning, listening to their discography, I realized that 'The Kids From Yesterday' are all of us, Killjoys. Because they may not still be a band, but their message will carry on. I personally know my children will listen to My Chemical Romance.
It's funny how comfortable I was with the idea that My Chemical Romance is safely on my iPod, and I was so sure that they would continue adding more and more music to the iTunes folder destined for them. Boy, was I wrong. And frankly, the news made my stomach twist. In fact, I haven't eaten much in the last few hours, because my stomach's a mess.
And what you are going to say is 'dude, chill out, it's just a band'. But the thing is, you're wrong. For me, it's more than a band. And so is for everybody else that has supported it all along. My Chemical Romance is a concept, a way of living, and I will carry it within me for as long as I live.
Today I realized that what pains me the most is that I never got the chance to see them live or meet them and tell them how much I have learnt from them, and how much good they have done to me, and how thankful I am for all they have done these part twelve years. So thank you. Thank you, Gerard, Mikey, Frank, Ray and all the drummers and backstage people that have contributed to the magical thing called My Chemical Romance. I love you and I will miss you sorely.
My Brutal Romance
My Beautiful Romance
My Miserable Romance
My X-rated Romance
My Harlequin Romance
My Innocent Romance
My Scandalous Romance
My Selfish Romance
My Pathetic Romance
My Watercolour Romance
My Chemical Romance. 2001-2013